Reading this article “Zu Gast in Neuseeland: Wir leben doch alle am Rand des Universums ” today has reignited some wanderlust in me, or more precisely, the wish to relocate. In hindsight, it may amount to the poorest decision I ever made to cancel my Canada migration in 2007 and come back to Germany. I should have been ready to take a little bit more of a risk than I was willing to at the time. But you never know. What I do know though, is that coming back had me spiral into the biggest crisis in my life so far. And on every level, i.e. personally-emotionally, healthwise, financially. You could say, my previous life not only was terminated. Everything it was built upon – or what I thought was its foundation – got ratted out along with a series of unfortunate to plain crazy events. At times I felt as if I had been cast to appear on the devil’s version of Candid Camera, as things got so outrageous, I often couldn’t help but think, someone was playing an evil prank with me.
However, I think I can safely say that I have the fighting gene in me. If for nothing else than for still being here after my identity, circle of friends, savings, health, career and general idea of direction had all gone to pieces. Or less than pieces: They got pulverized, dissolved and flushed down the drain.
So today, after a long time of more or less residual major depression along with some psychosomatic and hereditary physical manifestations, for the first time in what seems like forever I was able to think ‘possibilities’ again. That is, the article did that for me and I was bold enough to consider research into possible options. Or should I say …. alternative destinations….? We’ll see. It’ll take a lot of research again, but more than ever before: A miracle, too.