Touchdown or: Back in the Funk

Welcome Home, Traveller!… not really, but I just thought it made for a cool headline 😉 (errr, on second thought: There might have been some funk involved yesterday, when removing my boots that I had been in for 16 hours straight… – eeeeeek!)

Anyway: Another cycle concludes here, I’m back in my backyard of the planet. One and a half months ago I set out to find a new perspective, maybe a new home, make new encounters and experiences. And I have come across most surprising, totally unexpected findings – more of that further below.

Last night at 5-55 pm, our Airbus A 340-600 landed at Munich Airport. While approaching it and speaking from a photographer’s point of view, I noticed the totally different lighting conditions here: Everything seems softer, duller in a way, muted tones. Canadian skies were crisp and clear and mirrored on the ocean surface and the snowy mountain tops. The light of the desert struck some hard, but interesting shadows and produced a glare of refractions on the rocks and sand. Around here, there’s a lot of yellow, brown and green on the ground, trees, meadows etc., which seem to absorb much of the light from above. I will have to keep exploring that over the next little while, there seems to be something very distinct about each of the places I’ve visited.

Apart from that, I couldn’t help noticing the pace and feel being a lot more relaxed here – or is it that I’m relaxing over the fact that everything looks, feels, smells and rings familiar? It appeared as if much of the tension of the past few weeks immediately dissolved into a long and deep, but mute exhale once we touched ground: “It’s over… you’re back.” Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed this trip for most of the time, but I seem to have put a lot of pressure on me to begin with. Before departing, I was determined to produce some results in terms of relocating to Canada or the U.S. And I’ve succeeded in doing so: If I were still all determined about this, I’d be ready to dismantle my household and go – everything to get started would be in place. Yet, this is where surprise sets in: All of a sudden, things aren’t as clear any more as they appeared before, I’m less sure about this entire endeavour of moving from Europe to the North American hemisphere. It seems, I have built my personal version of what it might feel like to be living there over the years. While much of that proved to be true, other aspects amount to no less than disillusionment, even discouragement in certain regards. But maybe the most important of all findings is this: Regardless of where I live, I find satisfaction in what I do – for a living, that is. So, first and foremost, the job has to fit my expectations and qualifications and everything else is subordinate to that aspect. I mean EVERYTHING. I’m all about the job and before thinking of going elsewhere, I need to rethink and optimize that part. Am I being at the right place, doing what I know best and find most satisfaction in? I’m not sure and this is my “homework” in a very literal sense: To find out for myself, whether I’m well placed and if not, how to better that situation.

So, yeah, in one way or another I’m back in the funk. I have to clean up the mess inside and out and get my act together. On the bright side: I have proven to myself that I’m capable of producing facts and results. So, whatever will reveal itsself at the “end” of this kind of “spring-cleaning”, I am confident to make it happen. One cycle comes full circle, another is to abound. Don’t they call this “life”….?

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